The Book of Lies Read online

I pretended not to understand, only McClobber wasn’t having any of it. He told me I was far too young to be drinking and that I should know better.

  ‘It’s just as well I came along when I did. You could’ve got yourself in serious trouble.’

  But the trouble was now in my stomach. Mr Mac had no inkling I might vomit in his car (and I didn’t expect it, either). I was feeling all churned up (made worse by the gear changes). I opened my mouth to defend myself but before I could speak something else came out. He reached over to open my door as it spilled onto the road. Seconds later I was hunched over a hedgerow with McCrackers at my side. He asked what I’d drunk because my vomit was the colour of Radox tropical bubble bath. I admitted I couldn’t remember, and continued to empty my stomach. Then I blew my nose and said sorry. Mr Mac got a few more tissues from his car.

  ‘You shouldn’t be mixing with the likes of Michael Priaulx. I don’t like to go by what I’ve heard but it’s clear he’s too old for you. Who else were you with?’

  I was feeling so sick and hot and cold and scared.

  It’s not good to feel so many things at once.

  ‘What do you care?’ I asked. ‘Are you worried I’ll get you in trouble?’

  ‘It’s not that, Cathy. I do understand. I was young once.’

  It was round about then that I had a major freak-out. I went on and on about how I was more misunderstood than Hitler, and how I did miss Dad and how I got everything wrong. Mighty Mac put his arm around me and I snivelled on his woolly shoulder.

  He was about to say something when another car appeared behind us and started beeping its horn. I wiped my nose and tried to look sane, which was just as well since it was Mrs Senner. Mrs Senner (aka Radio Senner) is Vicky’s mum and Dr Senner’s wife, and is hard to avoid on account of her fluorescent fuchsia lipstick, which never comes off despite her kissing people in the Belgian way.31 When she saw who was blocking the road she slowed down and asked if everything was ‘all righty’. I thought for one terrible minute she might actually get out. Mr McCracken panicked, too, and waved her along quite brusquely, saying everything was fine and I was just a little carsick.

  ‘It’s my fault,’ he shrugged. ‘I’m not used to all these narrow lanes and hidden turnings. It’s all stop-start-stop-start with me.’

  Mrs Senner laughed and told him he should have got used to it by now.

  ‘I know, I know!’ He rolled his eyes and smiled.

  As she drove off I couldn’t help but look at Mr Mac with Super-Gluey eyes. What Mr McCrack did was so noble and generous. He’d preserved what was left of my dignity. Mrs Senner would’ve gone absolutely nuts if she’d examined me more closely/smelt/inspected my vomit. She’d have marched round to our house and told Mum all about it, and then Mum would’ve got upset about everyone knowing our business. But Mr Mac had been my Knight-in-Shining-Skoda, and he obviously really cared since he suggested we stop at Island Wide for a can of Coke and something to eat.

  ‘You’ll probably feel a lot better now it’s all out of your system.’

  I nodded meekly, got back in the car and he was right, after a few minutes I did start to feel better. I told him I was sorry for ruining his Sunday and he laughed and said there was nothing to be ruined.

  ‘Truth is, I hadn’t made any plans.’

  He then watched me guzzle two packets of Quavers and a Fanta, which kind of proved the point.

  It was only after I’d scoffed the lot that I dared ask him what he was going to tell Mum.

  He tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. ‘I don’t know. Will she be at home yet?’

  I shook my head. ‘She’s at work. She’s working all hours to save the business because you might not know this but Dad left us terrible debts. She’s got enough on her plate, trust me, she needs this like a hole in the head.’

  Mr Mac pulled a face.

  ‘So, what do I do with you?’

  I stared at my hands. ‘I’m meant to be at Nicolette Prevost’s house. It’s just round the corner.’

  Mr Mac raised his eyebrows to make little quote marks over his face.

  ‘You and Nicolette, I should’ve known. She was at Pleinmont with you, wasn’t she?’ He shook his head. ‘Bang goes my star pupil.’ But then, unexpectedly, he smiled. ‘I’ll drop you back there now, shall I?’

  I was amazed/terrified/appalled. I couldn’t understand why Mr Mac would do such a thing, but I assumed he just wanted to humiliate me further. He found the way to Les Paradis with only two more gear crunches and when we pulled into the drive Therese was (thankfully) dressed and at the door.

  She was very surprised to see me without Nicolette, and with Mr McCracken.

  ‘Is everything all right? Cathy, where’s Nicolette?’

  There was a note of panic in her voice.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said quickly, ‘Nic and I got separated, there was a mix-up over lifts, she’ll be back very soon, I’m sure. Can I wait for her in her room?’

  Therese frowned. ‘Yes, that’s fine, go on up, but I’m cross with Nicolette for leaving you. Mr McCracken, I don’t know what to say. This is unexpected. How kind of you to go out of your way and bring Cathy back.’

  Mr Mac smiled. ‘It was nothing.’

  Then Mr Prevost came out into the hallway and draped an arm over Therese, who stiffened as per a post. Her eyes darted anxiously from me back to her husband.

  ‘Roger, Nicolette’s gone AWOL again. Poor Mr McCracken here has doubled up as a taxi service. We have to talk to her, it’s getting out-of-hand.’

  Mr Prevost shook his head, still smiling. ‘She’ll be back when she gets hungry, I don’t doubt.’ Then he rolled his eyes at Mr McCracken. ‘Kids, eh? It’s like we talk a different language. I’m surprised you can be bothered.’

  Mr McCracken was smiling at Therese.

  ‘Well, I’m sure it’s all just a silly mistake.’

  Mr Prevost nodded. ‘Bound to be. I owe you a drink.

  If ever you fancy it, there’s a gang of us who meet up at the Royal Hotel. A lot of the chaps at the bank are English and have come over on contracts. We go there on Wednesdays and Fridays and sometimes at the weekend. Ha-ha! I should probably move in. But seriously, I bet you’d fit right in.’

  ‘That’s kind.’ Mr McCracken was already Mc-backing away. ‘I’ll bear that in mind, most definitely. Right now I must be off.’

  ‘Thanks again,’ I called. ‘I really appreciate it.’

  Mr McCracken smiled at Therese with what I thought was sympathy. ‘I’m sure Nicolette will be back safe and sound, but if you’re at all worried do call me.’

  Therese fiddled with a long gold necklace and looked all Lady Di.

  ‘You’re very kind.’

  And with that, Super-Mac folded his long body into his car and started the engine without the slightest crunch or scream. He reversed down the drive and in a second he was gone. I couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t said anything about the state I’d been in or where I’d been or how illegal it all was. I was mystified. I stared up at Therese and Mr Prevost like they’d witnessed a minor miracle. But once the shock wore off I felt a bit confused. I didn’t want or need a miracle. I wanted a proper punishment. Or at least a proper parent.

  I know Mr Mac wasn’t my dad, but he had a duty of care, or whatever you call it. As my form teacher he should’ve done something. Perhaps he didn’t want to get involved, or perhaps he didn’t want to make trouble. Either way, they made him a coward. And Mr Prevost was no better. He thought Nic was his little princess and therefore could do no wrong. This is serious black-and-white proof that the adults on this island are utterly useless. They think Guernsey’s so peaceful and perfect that their kids can come to no harm. Don’t they consider the harm kids can do to each other?

  If you give someone an inch they take a mile – isn’t that what they say? Remember Guernsey’s small, in fact, it’s only three miles wide.

  15TH DECEMBER 1985, 4.30 p.m.

  [Kitchen, having eaten three ‘Lea
n Cuisines’. Therefore ‘Not Lean’.]

  ‘Traitor!’

  It was Monday morning bright and early and Nic had just slammed her satchel on my desk. Her eyes bored into me.

  ‘I can’t believe you went off in a huff and left me like that. Have you forgotten who your friends are?’

  The whole of the class went quiet and stared at us.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I replied, ‘I should never have climbed up the tower with Michael Priaulx. I had no idea he was going to go all nutty like that.’

  Nic folded her arms under her boobs. ‘How fucking dare you embarrass me like that! And what the hell were you thinking, going back to my house afterwards?’

  (I’d waited in Nic’s bedroom for over two hours, and then Therese had driven me home.)

  ‘I was looking for you and I thought you’d be there. What else did you expect me to do?’

  ‘You could’ve gone anywhere. You had no right. And I know you went through my stuff. Where’s my silver locket, you little thief!’

  (She’d definitely said I could borrow it.)

  I dug my nails into the sides of the desk.

  ‘Look, I went there and waited for you because I wanted to say sorry. I thought you’d be back before too long.’

  ‘More like you were waiting for an excuse to suck up to my mum. I can’t trust you. I didn’t know what to tell the boys. And as if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, you do your little Second World War reenactment with Monobrow Michael and act like a total spaz. Jesus, you could’ve hit the car!’

  ‘We weren’t trying to hit anyone, it was just a laugh.’

  ‘Were you laughing?’

  (I couldn’t remember.)

  Nic shook her head and leaned in, lowering her voice a little but not quite enough.

  ‘I don’t know why I bother. Christ, I’d even set you up with Pagey, did you know that? I’d totally talked you up to him, told him to take it easy because, you know, you hadn’t done much before. Then, then, you start spewing embarrassing facts about vegetables. Is it really any wonder we tell you to zip it?’

  Anne-Marie enjoyed the reference to vegetables and muttered ‘Cabbage’ under her breath. I hissed at her to shut up. I tried to explain to Nic how I honestly hadn’t been sulking. But she called me childish and annoying. She also said that I drank too much of everyone else’s alcohol without ever supplying my own.

  ‘You just want a free ride and if you don’t get what you want you act like a baby. I mean, how dare you turn up at my house and tell my mum and dad you don’t know where I am, and make out that I was the one who was in the wrong to go off and leave you in the middle of nowhere.’

  ‘I never said anything like that!’

  ‘Well, that’s what it looked like!’ Nic glared at me in such disgust (as did everyone). ‘You’re a fucking sneak. I hate sneaks.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I winced and tried to smile. ‘Did you get an earful?’

  Nic curled her lip. ‘Of course not. I’m not some little kid. But get over yourself, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Pete’s my boyfriend and it’s so obvious you’re jealous. You’re just embarrassing yourself.’

  My cheeks were like hot coals and everyone was whispering.

  ‘So what was the plan? Was that little game with Michael supposed to get my attention?’

  I quickly explained that Michael was a very interesting person once you got to know him, but Nic pulled the sourest face yet/ever.

  ‘I bet he never told you he was, like, my stalker for a year. He used to follow me everywhere.’

  I was ever so slightly crushed.

  ‘Let’s not fight,’ I said. ‘I made a mistake and I won’t do it again.’

  Nic frowned and pretended to think this over.

  ‘I wonder if this is a bit of a warning sign. If you’re going to be so weird then maybe I should find someone else to hang out with. I thought we could be friends but maybe I got it wrong. Maybe we should see less of each other.’

  I looked from Chantelle to Isabelle to Vicky.

  My little world was falling apart. The bell rang and in came Mr McCracken, clutching the register and his battered old briefcase. He told us to sit down but I couldn’t. He was all clean-shaven and crisply-ironed, but as he pulled out his chair I thought I’d faint. He sat down, opened the register and started calling our names. I kept my head down because I knew I was going to start crying. I felt so stupid because I never-ever cried in public. My head was spinning and I didn’t even hear when he got to ‘R’.

  ‘Rozier? . . . Catherine?’

  I looked up and suddenly everyone was staring. All the blood was in my head. I pushed my chair back and it screeched along the floor. Mr McCracken frowned and I didn’t know where to look. So without saying anything, I ran out.

  There were dots in front of my eyes when I reached the loos, which were only four doors down. Of course Mr Mac followed me into the corridor, as did Nic and Lisa Collenette. Lisa came because her nose is the biggest part of her body, Nic came because she was (I think) worried. OK, she was probably more worried about what I was going to tell Mr Mac, but even so.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Mr McCracken pushed the door a little open. ‘Are you still feeling sick from yesterday?’

  I clung to the basin. ‘Please go away.’

  I think it was at this point that Mr Mac stepped back and saw Nic.

  ‘Why don’t you try to talk to her?’

  Mackers went back to class, taking Lisa-insect with him.

  Nic pushed the door open with her elbow and stared at me. She had a medium-sized frown on her face.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘I didn’t mean – ’ Nic held up her hand as if to stop traffic.

  ‘What was that he said? Why did he mention yesterday? What does he know about yesterday?’

  I swallowed. Nic was still staring at me. She looked more puzzled than angry.

  ‘Why were you with Mr McCracken yesterday?’

  ‘Didn’t they tell you?’

  Nic cocked her head to one side. ‘Didn’t who tell me? What are you on about?’

  It was a pin-drop moment.

  ‘Mr McCracken was the one who took me back to your house.’

  ‘He what?’ She blinked. ‘You’re kidding me.’

  ‘No, I’m not.’

  Nic’s little mouth gaped. ‘Fuck! You’re serious. Who was there? Tell me exactly what happened.’

  I remember looking into the whites of Nic’s eyes and knowing that I’d better make it good. This was my chance. Sometimes you have to twist the truth to make it interesting, and I had to make it interesting.

  ‘Well, it was amazing, really. I mean, I can hardly believe that it happened. I was sitting at Pleinmont with Michael, and of course we were both pretty wasted by then. Suddenly, out of nowhere, up drove Mr McCracken. He came over and asked Michael what we’d been doing and Michael laughed in his face. Mr Mac then got all huffy and said he’d better take me home. I don’t really remember refusing. Next thing I know he’s bundling me into his car. I was giggling and mucking about, but he was so angry. I told him to chill out, only he said I was lowering myself to be getting in such a dreadful state, and what was I thinking, blah-blah. Then he asked me what would happen if it all went wrong and who would pick up the pieces? That was when I got upset. I told him he wasn’t my dad and we had a bit of an argument. The windows of the car got steamed up and he had to stop driving. Then, the strangest thing happened . . .’

  Nic’s eyes widened. ‘What?’

  I stared into her pretty face. It was like I was holding a loaded gun.

  ‘He got upset. It was like he was really exasperated and at the end of his tether. He told me I was precious and special. I was freaked out. Then he said we needed to both calm down. We stopped at Island Wide and he bought me some food and we sat in the car park. After that we talked and talked. He really understood me.’

  ‘Seriously?’ said Nic. ‘I can’t believe it.’

  ‘Well, you always
said he had a soft spot for me. He told me I was his star pupil. He even said something about how I was the one reason he still enjoyed teaching. He was leaning close and he had a tissue and he wiped my face really gently, and I could feel his breath on me.’

  Nic pulled back. ‘No way!’

  ‘Yes-way! Then he told me how lonely he was, and how his Sundays are just empty, and all he ever does is drive round and round the coast road.’

  Nic’s pretty face crinkled. ‘That is so sad.’

  ‘Then,’ I took a breath, ‘we nearly kissed!’

  ‘No!’

  I nodded frantically.

  Nic’s eyes started to shrink. She wasn’t sure whether to believe me or not.

  ‘Really!’ I yelped. ‘He-was-being-so-nice-and-then-he-sort-of-leaned-over-like-to-give-me-a-hug-but-it-was-definitely-something-else. He hadn’t shaved so it was bristly.’

  Nic shook her head, and I could see by her body language32 that she wasn’t convinced. That’s when I told her about the projectile vomiting and Mrs Senner.

  ‘Yuck! How embarrassing. I’d have died.’

  ‘I know!’ More mad head-nodding. ‘That’s why I asked Mr McCracken to drop me round at yours. I was in such a state. He made me promise not to tell anyone what had happened, but I couldn’t not tell you.’

  Nic sized me up with her eyes, it was like she was trying to see into my brain.

  I gulped back panic. ‘I swear on my life this is the truth, Nic.’

  ‘Really?’

  I nodded and blinked and waited.

  A hint of a smile crept onto her face.

  ‘You wouldn’t lie about something this big, would you?’

  ‘No way.’

  (And normally I wouldn’t.)

  She stared into my eyes and I still couldn’t tell if she believed me or not, and I was rigid when she pulled me close and gave me a hug. It was a hug so tight that it almost stopped me breathing.

  ‘Well, well!’ she whispered. ‘We could have some fun with this.’

  And I thought it was just perfect. We were friends again, maybe better friends than before, and that was all that mattered. I was too happy to think about the lies I’d just told, or the damage they could do. I didn’t think about what would happen tomorrow or the day after that, or the day after that, because it seemed so far away.